I've always wanted to write. Or, I guess, I've always wanted to be a writer. It's easy to want to be a writer but not actually put any effort forward. To think about all sorts of wonderful, creative ideas without intending to ever put them down on paper or keyboard. I've always wanted to be a writer, but never wanted to write.
I suppose there's only so much time that an honest person can spend doing that. I want to be an honest person, especially with myself. It really means that it's time to put aside the idea that a writer can get away with not writing.
But of course, there is a reason that I've always wanted to be a writer. Several reasons, really. It's not like I ever intended to never write, I only intended to do it later. Or better yet, I intended to have already done it. The effort, the proofreading, the editing, the imagination, the drive, the time, the amount of work that it takes to write absolutely terrifies me.
Of course, that's only where it starts. The fact is, once something is written, it can be read by another person. What if people hate my opinions? What if I write about something I don't know very well and get caught in my ignorance? It's easy to be on the other side of that. It's easy for me to read someone's work and disdain their opinions, ideas, and writing style. But I think it's time to put myself forward.
The greatest fear I've ever had about writing is also the greatest fear I've had as a human being: what if no one cares. If my writings are completely ignored, I would of course feel that I was a forgettable person. Writing is a very personal thing, especially when it's honest and open. I admit I've often been terrified that people would glance in my direction, only for a second, and then continue on their way, consigning me to the back of their mind.
It's time for that fear to be silenced. It's time for the laziness to be killed. It's time to write.